Role Reversal: Today's Mr. Mom
Posted: Wednesday, January 28, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
We are seeing it more and more today, as the men that once left the house every morning headed for work end up becoming the 'stay - at - home dad'. Due to large companies 'downsizing', merging to save budgets/funds, and 'making ajustments', many people are finding themselves without a job. And it doesn't matter if you've been at a company for 15 years plus, you are still open to receive a 'pink slip'...and as the residents of Detroit are saying, "Call Marvin" (which is another story altogether).
If small children are involved, this gives the man an opportune time to spend more time interacting with his child; do little projects to help with the child's learning process. Every child enjoys learning new things through song and dance. Throw in a Barney tape and let the good times roll. If the child is a pre-schooler, take them to school and participate in some of the school activities. But don't overcrowd the school, that is a place for education, so let the children and the teachers do what they are there to do. If you start to notice the teachers and the students locking the classroom door as you approach the class, turn around and head back out the school's doors.
Okay, the man has been barred from the school. No fear, there are plenty of other things to do to take his mind off the transition. No job - look for another one. Nobody ever stated that once a person loses a job, they stay jobless. And nothing picks your spirit up more than knowing you have a chance at getting new employment. But that doesn't happen overnight. Get online, create your resume and post it with every career website you can think of, or find. Good ones like Monster, HotJobs, or even Yahoo! offer a vast employer pool to search from.
No job, nothing to do... Baloney! While waiting for call backs for a job, try starting a new hobby, or finish an old project. Keeping your mind off the fact of not having a job will keep your spirits on a level. And staying busy has always proved to be helpful in most cases. Purchase a puzzle from Walmart, Family Dollar, Toys R' Us!, or even the grocery store has crossword puzzles. But sometimes, a person needs some sort of conversation, someone to relate to when going through something as 'baffling' as losing your job after being with the company for 15 years. Some people may find it hard to cope after a blow such as this.
When you feel as if it's hard to cope or deal with when you have lost your job, role reversed with your mate and are possibly losing hope, there are websites for group support. Find a site for 'Stay - at - Home Dads' or 'Mr. Moms' to find others who may be going through the same issues you are. Sometimes people find the greatest relief when interacting with others who can relate to what's going on with them.
It's a trying time when the families' 'roles' are 'reversed' after one or both of the parents lose a job. But it doesn't have to take it's toll on that family. Keep trust, hope, Faith and support in that family, and survival through this time will be a guarantee. Most of all, motivate one another to keep their hopes for receiving another job. Tell them that they are appreciated and that they are a big help around the house. Allow them to do things their way, after all, this is all new to them since they didn't have this as a routine everyday. It will take a few mistakes to get it down packed.
And a word to the men: Doing housework and managing the children may seem impossible, but it can be done through coordination, a calm attitude and patience...trust me.
There have been men who had to hold this position for whatever reasons, so I know it can be done...and without any serious complications or dilemmas. Are there any men out there who have taken on this responsibiltiy involuntarily? Share your stories, we'd appreciate it!
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)I wrote this article in hopes that it not only helps someone, but that those who have had to become a stay-at-home dad may share their experiences and help someone as well.
Great job, Ronyae. Good advice and well written. I was extremely fortunate during my career, I was ourt of work for 6 weeks once when a job folded under me. But they gave me a three months separation pay! Lordy, that did sweeten a termination. I spent the next six weeks trying to find satisfactory work and fortunately, finally landed an even better one. I'm just glad that I am out of the work force now.Joel,I can definitely second that note on being out of the work force. But I'm finding myself keeping an open-eye for a corporate gig, since I'll be the only one taking care of our home when my Mother retires in March.But thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
Howdy Ronyae, as usual, I always find your topics to be interesting, and how appropriate in this day and age. I ironically heard just now on the news that there was a 100,000 person lay-off in Dallas. I fear that allot of folks are experiencing just what you are talking about. Sound good advice, great content, and this could certainly add food for thought to any Stay at home dad. Fortunately, I am retired from IBM, and I am sooooooooo glad that I made it to a full retirement after 30 years, and guess what? I got bored at home, and went back to work for UPS!!!! Ha Ha......its a deskjob, but what the heck? Great article, and I wish I could add more, but you, my dear, have said it all!!!! Your friend in pen, GaryThanks Gary,And I like that name: 'friend in pen'...I may just have to be a copycat on that one, :). WOW about the people in Dallas...it's like a dominoe effect, Gary and it's sad, but true signs of reality.Thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
Very encouraging article, Ronyae. Great job! Blessings, TeresaTeresa,Thanks! I hope this write encourages some to look at this dilemma as a stepping stone to saving a family, marriage or self-empowerment! Thanks for reading.
I think you've made a great point here, or at least the way I have interpreted it. If you are unemployed, keep busy, no matter what you are doing. To do nothing is to end up in a rut, going nowhere. I remember many years ago, our first child was on the way and I was unemployed. I remember packing a lunch each morning, getting in my car and spending the next eight hours looking for work. Just looking for work became my daily activity and that alone kept my spirits high. It took me one year to find a job and though I only stayed with that particular company for six years, I have never been unemployed since. I retired from my career in 2005 and am now working full-time again.David,Yes, I believe you have it! And your story is very inspirational! Thanks for reading and sharing your comment.
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