Dreams, Deferred
Posted: Tuesday, May 12, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
This will be my last submission as a 'Reality Bites!', since I have been heightened in my levels of my life's journey. I have taken my column to greater heights, so this write will not fall under my column for the purposes of it not actualy being labeled as a 'Reality Bites!' or is it a 'Collection', but as a submission to share with my readers:
Lately, I've been a witness to the silent tears of women, and men alike that have given up their dreams for the sake of their marriage, and/or family. It's a common situation among us, and somehow there seems to be a shortage in assessing the root of the situation. Is it wrong for a person to place more value on their dreams?
I would like to share a story as an example:
Martha and Jim loved one another since 5th grade, and by the time they both were juniors in high school, they were married, and shared two children between them. Before they were married, Martha was a great writer, and had held positions on the school's newsletter staff; coupled with her demanded presence as a the school's playwright. Martha's future had been penciled in, and with the skills Jim held from his love of drawing buildings, they had a beautiful life ahead for themselves.
After Martha gave birth to their first child, she soon realized that she had no time to gather information for the school's newspaper, nor did she have extra time after school to work with the yearbook staff. Although Martha's schedule was transformed completely, Jim remained playing sports, and gained a scholarship. But Jim wasn't able to attend college and pursue a career in architecture, because he had to get a job working for his father at the neighborhood market.
By the time their second child had arrived, Jim and Martha had been married for nearly two weeks, and had to live with Martha's parents. Martha had no time to write, after taking a job at the market part-time with her husband, and Jim used his love for buildings as a get-a-way during his breaks at the market ... he lost his drive for drawing altogether. After their junior year, Jim and Martha decided that they needed more hours of the day to work and save money for their futures; they never returned to school for their senior year. Forfeiting a graduation with fellow classmates, and friends that had been their classmates since the 5th grade.
Two years into their marriage, Jim began blaming Martha for him not being able to finish his education, and then in return, Martha blamed Jim. Of course this was the start of a big argument, and then ultimately a hate between the two of them that will never be healed overnight.
So, my question to my readers is: "Could there even be any blame in a situation like this? Is there any way to prevent losing your dreams in the midst of doing whats right by life's standards?"
Thanks for all your comments, and stay Blessed.
I would like to share a story as an example:
Martha and Jim loved one another since 5th grade, and by the time they both were juniors in high school, they were married, and shared two children between them. Before they were married, Martha was a great writer, and had held positions on the school's newsletter staff; coupled with her demanded presence as a the school's playwright. Martha's future had been penciled in, and with the skills Jim held from his love of drawing buildings, they had a beautiful life ahead for themselves.
After Martha gave birth to their first child, she soon realized that she had no time to gather information for the school's newspaper, nor did she have extra time after school to work with the yearbook staff. Although Martha's schedule was transformed completely, Jim remained playing sports, and gained a scholarship. But Jim wasn't able to attend college and pursue a career in architecture, because he had to get a job working for his father at the neighborhood market.
By the time their second child had arrived, Jim and Martha had been married for nearly two weeks, and had to live with Martha's parents. Martha had no time to write, after taking a job at the market part-time with her husband, and Jim used his love for buildings as a get-a-way during his breaks at the market ... he lost his drive for drawing altogether. After their junior year, Jim and Martha decided that they needed more hours of the day to work and save money for their futures; they never returned to school for their senior year. Forfeiting a graduation with fellow classmates, and friends that had been their classmates since the 5th grade.
Two years into their marriage, Jim began blaming Martha for him not being able to finish his education, and then in return, Martha blamed Jim. Of course this was the start of a big argument, and then ultimately a hate between the two of them that will never be healed overnight.
So, my question to my readers is: "Could there even be any blame in a situation like this? Is there any way to prevent losing your dreams in the midst of doing whats right by life's standards?"
Thanks for all your comments, and stay Blessed.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Hi Ronyae.I believe that time is on their side. Both of them are still young and they can still realize their dreams to fruition. Blaming each other, I believe, is such a waste of time, emotion and energy. There has to be a way, work things out and make ones dream come true. I wish them good luck.Thank you for this well written article.Wishing you the best.NenitaNenita,Thanks for reading and sharing a great comment. I, too, believe that there has "got" to be a way to work things out, and where neither points blame, but acknowledge that both played a part in all of this ... and the children shouldn't have to suffer, you know. Thanks again, Nenita.
There is always a moment in time that all will take heed, good or bad, little or big, ugly or pretty, and of course love or hate. Time deals with an era and an era has no limits as far as time is concerned. Whatever happens in it will be. One thing in time that everyone should be able to relate to is “Love.” It requires one in time to care for another. Some gentlemen may remember the stunning appearance of a particular lady that moved them to excitement. They were overwhelmed by the beauty of the walk, the talk, the smile, and if we are honest, that beautiful being could just do no wrong. They were just perfect. What about the home?From a Christian Counselor's eyes, a home's foundation on God will stand in spite of the circumstances or consequences. Why? Godly people look at satan as being the problem rather than each other. In marriage we would say: "stand back to back to the husband and wife." Standing back to back satan cannot sneak upon you. The wife can see satan coming and the husband can see satan coming. When satan approaches from both ends it pressures the husband and wife together into one. Like the earth pressures the coal and make it a diamond, so it is when the husband and wife are pressured together by satan and they too become a diamond." The foundation for any marriage is: God's will, commitment, trust, faith, and love.WOW, Dr.This is one to grow on, and I am so grateful for having been given such a word of Christ! Selah!Thanks for sharing such an empowering comment, Doc, and I'm sure your spouse is a blessed person to have you!
Ronyae,That's a tough one. But we do have to follow our dreams or they become nightmares. I found a way to do it, and as the saying goes, if there's a will there's a way. God wants us to be happy and he gave us talents to use to help build up his kingdom. Those talents should not be kept hidden. He will find our way for us. Through minor miracles He will find a way; He has in my life. Pray.Jeff,AMEN to that! OMG, your comment has really touched me to the core, and thanks for sharing it with my readers as well. Stay Blessed.
Great article, great question. They certainly shouldn't blame each other--the blame should be in lack of education (not for their careers, but education about life and what it entails when a young couple insist on growing up too fast). I'll answer your question with another question--how can we teach our young people to follow their dreams but do it wisely?Thanks for sharing, Ronyae. Good stuff.SandraThat is a great comment/question Ms. Sandra! And one we could definitely put focus on to at least assess this type of situation. Thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
Great article. Well done.Having children changes everything including career. That is why many couples are having children later now.Exactly, Connor ... speaking of myself in particular. (smile)Thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
Yes, they can follow their dreams still. It starts with not trying to find blame, but time to write, or attend night school.Good stuff here, Ronyae.Ken,Thanks for this comment, because I, too believe that all dreams can be accomplished and reached. Thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
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