Unexpected Pregnancies and One-Night Stands
Posted: Thursday, May 28, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
I'll never forget the night my neighbor was all hyped to hang out and party; she had already been drinking with other neighbors earlier that day. But, the nightfall was calling her name, and her hormones were driving her instincts.
My neighbor sat on my front porch, turning her cellphone into an instant operator's call board; dialing numbers and sending text messages. She needed someone to 'be' with. I asked her, " Why do you have to associate having sex with having a good time? "
To make a long story short, my neighbor was not successful in her 'call-board' attempts to contact the guy that she supposedly has a relationship with; nor were her text messages answered by her 'stand-by' (inwhich I see no need to have more than one mate). And, in a desparate state, she called an 'old' friend from the neighborhood. Figuring he could solve more than one dilemma because he lived in the neighborhood, and she could " itch her scratch " without any emotions, she laid down the plans - again, literally - that night.
Feeling no remorse, nor guilt the next day, my neighbor didn't call her " old friend " any of the days that followed her 'one-night stand'. Time arrived for her monthly visitor, and behold - no sign of it! In a frantic state, she calls me. And, even though I had feared the worst from the beginning, I still tried to be mindful of her situation. " You mean to tell me, you didn't use protection? Especially with a one-night stand? " I knew the moment the questions left my lips, I had indeed, did the one thing I wasn't trying to do: offend her. I knew that she knew her decision-making had been a 'bad' one, but it wasn't going to help her now.
My neighbor wanted children, but not by this particular guy. So, why would she have sex with him, unprotected? I'm sure he wasn't going to be the 'smart' one, and suggest that they use protection, because he wants to be in a relationship with her. Quiet as it's kept, he probably made mental plans to try and get her pregnant, knowing that this could probably be his only chance at doing so.
And, this my readers, is the start of a dilemma: the young lady doesn't want to be pregnant by the guy. But, the guy is all for having a baby with the young lady ... what should she do? Before the question is answered, one must take into consideration the fact being whether or not, the two of them become a family together, or each is a mother and a father by their own, separated right.
One must prepare themselves with questions like this when getting sexually involved with a person that you are not married to; if at all possible, omit " casual " sex. There are more than enough issues that result from a " casual " encounter, other than an unexpected preganacy; there are many sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) waiting to educate you, literally. But the main reason, for me, personally is wanting to be with a person that I plan on being with to create a family, plan a future, and complete dreams and goals with. I have no pleasures in just fulfilling a need for one night. And as this submission supports my point, that one night can turn into a lifetime.
After all of this ran through my mental in a matter of five to ten seconds, I shared my thoughts with her, knowing that she already knew this. But somehow, I felt she could hear it one more time, and maybe it will sink in. We prayed together, and asked for forgiveness and guidance in our sexually active lives; although I'm not active at all. But I didn't want her feeling alienated, or alone, and I prayed even harder. I prayed for her to have the guidance of Christ to make the right decision if she was indeed pregnant.
The young lady and our neighbor (after she contacted him) waited on the pregnancy test results, and held mixed reactions to the results ... she was not pregnant. She was relieved, but the guy wasn't all that happy to know that he hadn't " hit the mark " .
I would like to add an opinion: Sometimes both parties have different expectations from a sexual encounter. It's best to have a strong line of communication, and be clear of what you expect from the interaction. And, it doesn't matter if you are trying to get pregnant, or not, it's always a good idea to be protected! Especially, if you are not married, or in a serious relationship.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Hi Ronyae,Great article and a pointed reminder of what can happen when people get carried away by sexual arousal. Sex is a beautiful thing... but even more beautiful when it is with your spouse in a committed relationship. I think they used to call it marriage.MarkYes, Mark those were the "good ole' days"!
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