Are The Sacrifices Made For Children Worth It?
Posted: Wednesday, July 22, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
I want to share a personal story with my readers, supporters and friends as a submission of a collection in reference to the sacrifices we make for the youth. Oftentimes, we make sacrifices to help them out, when they don't want the help; where do we go from there? Should we feel something more than disappointment?
I share my story:
A man was charged and convicted of a violent crime; when police arrived on the scene, the man was holding a gun. To make a long story short, the man ended up serving twice for the alleged crime. The man fought hard to save himself, but never once revealed the actual truth: he was innocent. Completely, without a doubt innocent. And after many failed, tenacious attempts, his lawyer was stumped to discover that the man indeed was innocent.
This only being, after realizing that he was sure to serve the sentence for the crime inwhich he was charged, the man came clean to his lawyer, stating that he did it to protect a young man's future.
You wonder what the "it" was? Well, allow me to shed some light:
This man, although innocent of the crime he was charged for, took the blame and the charged sentence for being caught with the gun in his hand simply because he wanted the young man that originally held the gun, to have a chance for a future. "I've made my choices and have lived. This young man has a chance." The man told his lawyer. He was adamant about giving the young man an opportunity to make something of himself.
Although the lawyer tried to get the incarcerated, innocent man to see that he is the one that should be free, especially if he didn't actually commit the crime he was charge for, the man stood firm on what he felt was right. But, was his decision a smart one? Serving a sentence for a crime that you did not commit sounds ludicrous, but in the eyes and heart of this innocent, incarcerated man it wasn't.
Innocent or not, this man wanted to give the guilty young man an opportunity to make things better for himself. Having the opportunity to step out of the streets, and find comfort in positive outlets like college was what he wanted to give the young man. And he did, once he realized that he would be serving a sentence for a crime that he did not commit.
At the end of the man's sentence, he returned to society, but to find that the young man he had sacrificed his freedom for, had given up his [young man] freedom for yet, another senseless crime. So, I ask you was it worth it - the man to sacrifice his freedom for a young man's chance at a better future? Especially, if it's not guaranteed that the youth will use that 'saved' time to better themselves. How often does an adult sacrifice something dear to them for the betterment of a child ... countless. But yet instead of taking advantage of the opportunity, and wanting to make that [sacrificed] person proud, the child goes in the opposite direction. Not only destroying their chances of having something better out of life, but they have also wasted a sacrifice made by someone who probably didn't have to sacrifice a thing in the child's honor, or favor -- in the first place. I ask you, is this okay? Do we say, "Oh, that's alright. The child still has time to rectify their mistakes ... once again"? When will it stop?
There has to come a time when the children pay for their [own] mistakes; reap what they sow, and last but not least: bear the weight of their decision-making. "Spare the rod, spoil the child..."
~Stay Blessed
I share my story:
This only being, after realizing that he was sure to serve the sentence for the crime inwhich he was charged, the man came clean to his lawyer, stating that he did it to protect a young man's future.
You wonder what the "it" was? Well, allow me to shed some light:
This man, although innocent of the crime he was charged for, took the blame and the charged sentence for being caught with the gun in his hand simply because he wanted the young man that originally held the gun, to have a chance for a future. "I've made my choices and have lived. This young man has a chance." The man told his lawyer. He was adamant about giving the young man an opportunity to make something of himself.
Although the lawyer tried to get the incarcerated, innocent man to see that he is the one that should be free, especially if he didn't actually commit the crime he was charge for, the man stood firm on what he felt was right. But, was his decision a smart one? Serving a sentence for a crime that you did not commit sounds ludicrous, but in the eyes and heart of this innocent, incarcerated man it wasn't.
Innocent or not, this man wanted to give the guilty young man an opportunity to make things better for himself. Having the opportunity to step out of the streets, and find comfort in positive outlets like college was what he wanted to give the young man. And he did, once he realized that he would be serving a sentence for a crime that he did not commit.
At the end of the man's sentence, he returned to society, but to find that the young man he had sacrificed his freedom for, had given up his [young man] freedom for yet, another senseless crime. So, I ask you was it worth it - the man to sacrifice his freedom for a young man's chance at a better future? Especially, if it's not guaranteed that the youth will use that 'saved' time to better themselves. How often does an adult sacrifice something dear to them for the betterment of a child ... countless. But yet instead of taking advantage of the opportunity, and wanting to make that [sacrificed] person proud, the child goes in the opposite direction. Not only destroying their chances of having something better out of life, but they have also wasted a sacrifice made by someone who probably didn't have to sacrifice a thing in the child's honor, or favor -- in the first place. I ask you, is this okay? Do we say, "Oh, that's alright. The child still has time to rectify their mistakes ... once again"? When will it stop?
There has to come a time when the children pay for their [own] mistakes; reap what they sow, and last but not least: bear the weight of their decision-making. "Spare the rod, spoil the child..."
~Stay Blessed
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Thanks for this story, Ronyae. Let me put three sents in.Many factors influence the choices a child makes: genetics and other biological factors, temperament, friends, attitudes about school, early experiences, personal beliefs and ways of processing information, and more. None of them solely determine a child’s behavior. Ultimately, children will make their own choices. As much as the gentleman wanted to choose to spare the child, ultimately, it is the child's behavior that counts. The gentleman may have been influenced by something that had happened in his life, and he was contented doing it. And we all know how difficult this can be! I think about Christ, when we were yet sinners and still are, even after His death...In the gentleman's heart and the child's heart, they both will never forget. I am curious of the ending. Who knows, the man may grow old and the younger man may have to bring him a glass of water. Then I guess the gentleman would then be paid back. God works in mysterious ways.OOPS! I meant three cents. ...smile...LOL, but either way, it all makes sense! Thanks Dr.Oh yes Christ does! I am so Thankful for it all, and joyous to be so.
Your comment raises much awareness on not only a child's behavior, but a person as well. Thanks for that insight, Dr.
Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is step back and let a child reap what they have sown. But it is SO HARD!I must agree Ken, and thanks for reading and sharing a comment.
Ronyae,Way to go! Today, more than ever, parents are 'giving' their children everything. The innocent man gave some of his life in order to further a good future for the youth who did not value, respect or honor what the innocent man had done. No, the guilty youth should have paid his dues. Unfortunately, children today do not respect or honor their parents, their teachers, or other adults.Moms and dads could learn a lot from this lesson. Might be a good nursery tale in there.Thanks for sharing,NancyThanks Nancy, you give the warmest compliments! And to add more to a great comment, the youth have grown to have no respect for themselves. A sad thing to say, but true.Thanks for reading, sharing a comment, and the compliments, Nancy. Stay Blessed!
This definitely is a tough one, but I keep thinking about Dr. Rucker's comment about Christ. God gave His Son as a sacrifice for us, even though the majority of God's creation still lives in sin.Good comment, DP! Thanks for sharing it with us, and Stay Blessed.
hi ronyae,it appears that the lesson learned was for the older man, not the youth, even though the older man plannd it differently. shows that God has His own plans. but it's hard to know, as humans, what the best road to take really is.thank you for sharing,my best,sueSue, I love your comment. I, too, felt as if the lesson was more for the man than the guilty boy. Thanks for reading and sharing your comment.
Ronyae,There's a book called Thick Face, Black Heart written by a very wise woman, Chin-ning Chu. She speaks of a great warrior king who spared the life of his greatest enemy after being captured. This warrior king was a superior soldier and person, winning all his battles. Later, the warrior king let his enemy go free, for he honored his enemy's bravery and fighting ability. However, the enemy learned what he needed to do to defeat the warrior king and did so. And because the warrior king let his enemy go, his nation was taken over by his enemy who ruled with great evil over the warrior king's people for decades.Moral of the story? Mercy can not rob justice. People make their own bed and must lie in it. Great article.Well stated Jeff, and thanks for sharing your comment with us. A great one indeed.
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