Cougars: To Be, Or Not To Be Is The Dilemma
Posted: Wednesday, October 07, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
I posed this submission as a question first, to get the opinions of my fellow Warpies. Apparently, the majority feels that it's immoral for a woman to date a younger male, seemingly an adolescent male. My question was, "If a woman is called a 'cougar' for dating younger men, what are men called that date younger women?" You can only imagine the answers this question produced. All of good standing, and right on point for what I am submitting as a collection in reference to dating immortalities.
Immortalities in dating comes when I focus on how the men of yesteryears took on females at the tender age of 13, married them and made them mothers. Note I stated "made". These arrangements were not of the young woman's choices, but were a command - made by parents - involuntary decison. The dilemma comes from why was it called or looked upon as the "norm"; it was normal activity, or a way of life for a man to date a younger female, nearly a child.
Now, women are finding love in younger males, and this is some sort of taboo? Give me a break; " what's good for the goose, is good for the gander". Being called a cougar does more than label her, it's offensive, and threatens her position as a woman who knows what she wants. I wonder how men have felt over the years to be called "cradle-robbers"? It surely isn't a positive term, or phrase, let alone a title.
I am not supporting the issue of older women taking up relationships with a younger man, nor am I completely bashing an older man finding youth in the heart of a younger woman. But I am protesting the use of the term "cougar". I protest and resent the term simply because I was called a 'cougar' once, and believe me, it was the last time. I mean, what and why assimilate the term cougar with a woman that likes to be in the company of a younger man? How does wanting a high-spirited, beautifully structured, strong young man make a woman a cougar, and what attributes relate to a cougar?
With these questions in mind and on defense, I immediately responded to being called a cougar with the response that I wasn't a cougar, but a "panther" - move with grace, and can't be seen at night (creeper) because of the blackness of my coat. Pretty clever, I'd say. So, don't steal my stuff (wink).
So, with this submission, I would like to make a known fact that women resent being called a "Cougar"; it doesn't describe what is actually taking place, nor does it describe the women who are participating in an "older-younger" relation. Let's try this exercise: When the term cougar is used, combat it with "Craddle-Keeper", lol. Funny, yes. But, to end this article I would like to mention that maybe the men are a bit envious that women are starting to live for themselves. I say, "More power to all the women who are taking that step closer to their own happiness!" But, I also want to include that dating someone young as your high school student/child is a bit immoral.
Happy Dating, and Loving!
Now, women are finding love in younger males, and this is some sort of taboo? Give me a break; " what's good for the goose, is good for the gander". Being called a cougar does more than label her, it's offensive, and threatens her position as a woman who knows what she wants. I wonder how men have felt over the years to be called "cradle-robbers"? It surely isn't a positive term, or phrase, let alone a title.
I am not supporting the issue of older women taking up relationships with a younger man, nor am I completely bashing an older man finding youth in the heart of a younger woman. But I am protesting the use of the term "cougar". I protest and resent the term simply because I was called a 'cougar' once, and believe me, it was the last time. I mean, what and why assimilate the term cougar with a woman that likes to be in the company of a younger man? How does wanting a high-spirited, beautifully structured, strong young man make a woman a cougar, and what attributes relate to a cougar?
With these questions in mind and on defense, I immediately responded to being called a cougar with the response that I wasn't a cougar, but a "panther" - move with grace, and can't be seen at night (creeper) because of the blackness of my coat. Pretty clever, I'd say. So, don't steal my stuff (wink).
So, with this submission, I would like to make a known fact that women resent being called a "Cougar"; it doesn't describe what is actually taking place, nor does it describe the women who are participating in an "older-younger" relation. Let's try this exercise: When the term cougar is used, combat it with "Craddle-Keeper", lol. Funny, yes. But, to end this article I would like to mention that maybe the men are a bit envious that women are starting to live for themselves. I say, "More power to all the women who are taking that step closer to their own happiness!" But, I also want to include that dating someone young as your high school student/child is a bit immoral.
Happy Dating, and Loving!
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Hum.... what does the supposed age difference have to be? My husband is 6 years younger and we have never noticed the difference - this is 24 plus years after the fact so something must be working right. Also, men are supposed to die 6 years sooner so maybe this will be real good come that time and we can go together! Marijo (we were 33 and 39 when we married)Never looked at it in that sense, Marijo. Thanks for sharing that bit of insight (smile). Thanks for reading!You say "we" have never noticed the difference. I'll be "he" has, if allowed to have a say for himself, but probably not in your presence.
Great article. Well done.Very interesting and insightful. I like a good debate but on this one I am still unsure I will have to look into it more to decide.Thanks, Connor. When you do decide, be sure to come back and share it with us!
older women love younger men;in NYC, the club scene is totally replete with much older women,(with bandaids covering where their wedding bands were temporarily removed!)cruising for younger men to love,for one night;they have 'something' that older men simply dont have; sustainability.As for the younger men,guaranteed success with an older woman is better than the hit or miss younger women who are more discriminatingGood comment, Paul. It has me LOL, but it was a good comment.
Very interesting food for thought Ronyae. You never cease to amaze me with the variations in your articles. Thanks for sharing.Linda DThanks Linda. I try my best (smile).
Great article as usual Ronyae, but don't dump all us into the category of calling women Cougars. I never have and would not. I always say, to each his own (unless it becomes illegal or forced on one as you mention of some in the past). I married my wife, 4 years younger than I simply because I loved her and it would not have made any difference to me if she had been 30 years my senior. She is still four years younger than I am and we still love each other. It will be 54 years in December. Thanks for the great article.That is just wonderful, Joel! I congratulate both, you and your wife.
I've dated and lived with older women, on more than one occasion. If truth be told, it never really worked, precisely because of the age difference. The oldest difference was 12 years, and it was simply irreconcilable. I prefer younger women. How much younger? Anywhere from my own age to about 10 years younger. Oh, to be a Cary Grant who wins the affections of an Audrey Hepburn, a la Charade.My belief is that younger women prefer older men. They always have, and they always will. That there are older women who will take a younger man (Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher) is the exceptin, not the rule.As for "calling" someone this or that, I don't believe in it.I'm glad that you don't [believe in it], Anonymous. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Ronyae, people will find something to criticize about someone all the time. Personally, I fall in the older man, younger woman category. It just worked out that way for me. However, I used to work with a woman in her 40s. Her husband was in his early 30s. They had been together for several years and seemed to have a great marriage. My grandmother was 7 years older than my grandfather. They were married for almost 50 years. I agree that adult/teenage relationships are not healthy regardless of the gender and age mix. However, for adults, it seems that age should not be a barrier.Good point, Deana. But, like you stated, with adults. Focusing on "adults". Thanks for reading and sharing a comment, and a good one at that.
Kudos to you, Panther!Yes, that was pretty clever!You are so right with this. As long as it isn't adult/teenager, I say go for it. There was a cute movie many years ago called 40 Carats. She was 40 something and he was 20 something. It worked.Thanks for not only a great article but a great topic as well. You do come up with them.NancyThanks Nancy!
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