Losing Virginity
Posted: Wednesday, October 28, 2009
by Ronyae
Writings by Ronyae
I know this may seem as a touchy subject, and it may be a bit personal for some.&
nbsp; But, this subject is an important subject to bring up considering your child has, or will lose their virginity to their babysitter, or one of your friends.
It all started when I came up with a way of getting to know more about my mates; I would ask them how did they lose their virginity, and most of them replied, "With my babysitter, or an older lady that was a friend of my parents."
After several of the same responses (over a course of years), I became curious of how [males] others "lost" their virginity. My journalistic hat was on my head before I realized it, and I would ask my male friends about their "first time". The responses were overwhelming, and might I add - mouth-dropping. At first.
While on myspace, friends and I started to blog on the subject one day, and the conversation grew more astounding as the responses overloaded the blog. It turned out to be a three page thread on the subject; the men on the blog seen it as "no biggie" that they had experienced their first time with an 'older' female, and the females had shared average experiences, being that of a boy her own age. It was very few [females] that had been led into sexual experience by their babysitter.
So, perhaps the issue lies within older females, and female babysitters. Somehow, I have to stand ground because I was a professionally Nanny before my Journalist career started, and I have never even imagined having sex with someone I was babysitting. Yikes! To me, it seems disgusting to want to have sex with a child. Of course, many may say that the babysitter is just a child as well. But, I still say that holding a position of a "babysitter", gives that person the role of an adult; i.e. you are babysitting ... get it?
The first time should be a special one, and shared by someone close to your age. Of course, this is my opinion, and it may be shared by others. But, I don't want my opinions to be at the forefront of this submission, I want to point out that there are things going on in your home when you are away ... feeling secure that your children are in good hands, when in fact the very secure hands you left your child in care of, are the same hands exploring the child's body.
This subject has me filled with questions: Could the experience scar the young child in future sexual experiences? Is it possible that having your first sexual experience with an older person, more than likely shape your dating style/taste? Of course, I have a long list of questions, but I shall not ask them all here in my submission.
But, I do have one, ultimate question to ask my readers: Isn't this against the law? To have your child's innocence stripped by someone like a babysitter? Well, if it is a law that is, and can be broken, why aren't there more parents filing claims? Could it be the fact that your children are not sharing their "new" experience with you? Just imagine your young son being excited about losing his virginity to an older female, and not wanting to be embarrassed by sharing his 'experience' with his Mother ... kind of like Catch 22, right? Right. Regardless, talk to your children, and find out what is going on in their lives. At home, and away from home.
A child should feel more comfortable talking to their parents rather than anyone else. How often does your child tell you about whats going on in their lives?
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)This is what I needed to inspire me to write (probably a series) on Outrageous Ideas on Intimacy Before Marriage - outrageous because so many now seem to think it is not possible to wait, nor undertand the specific reasons for waiting -My husband and I were not born teething on Bibles - we actually came a long and difficult way around before being turned up side down by Jesus.... our story is relevant in that we show (by His grace only) that it is possible to recapture that innocence and WAIT until after the ceremony to open that most incredible gift that we can give to each other -sexual intimacy, thanks, Lady, for insipiring me -Now I have to go through notebooks of old notes and prayers and poems and "words" and get to writing this one! GRIN, MarijoI like the way you put this, Marijo: "being turned up side down by Jesus". And if you want any ghostwriting assistance [words], I'm only an email away (smile)!THANKS! I am writing to the man who did the tape series that I learned xso much from to get permission to use my notes that I took - have never done a piece before that wasn't totally my ideas and scriptures - need to do it right to not plagiarize and am at a loss as to what I can and can't use. MarijoI know exactly what you are talking about, Marijo ... so confusing! I wish you all the best.
(I thought this was joel drooling over sexual issues , but it's you!) Statistics refute what you're saying here; babysitters are predominately statistically 'safer' than were next door neighbors, close friends and believe it or not, RELATIVES who were the most 'molesting' entities in children's initial sexual experiences. Perhaps your friend's experiences aren't significantly statistically represented or they had horrendous babysitters but uncles,cousins,stepdad,local civic and religious leaders and even siblings weigh in far above the stats for babysitters, when it comes to national sexual statistics;Thank you for an eye opening essay;Paul SchroederI'm 'LOL' at your opening statement, Paul. But you are right about the statistics of children being "molested" by family members. Thanks for making me smile, today and for reading.
It occurs to me that you could both be right. If the national stats are for children then they might be skewed by including girls in the equation. Perhaps there is a significant statistical difference between girls and boys.An interesting and thought provoking article. Thanks for sharing!Thanks Ben, for reading and sharing your comment.
Touchy subject but always worth exploring and sharing ideas about. It's a shame that while many of these incidents go unnoticed at least in the public eye that only the occurances that result in injury or other harmful effects get attention. Thanks for the article.I couldn't agree more, Marisa. Thanks for reading, and sharing your comment.
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